look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
