No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
