1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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