those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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