I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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