Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
