I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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