it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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