A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
