She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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