I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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