some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
