if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize