if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
