we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
