i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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