It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
