when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
