Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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