I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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