was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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