Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
