i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize