1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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