apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
