rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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