I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
