marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
