I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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