I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
zippers are such a cool invention
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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