Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I looked at my own cervix.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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