wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
