I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Semen is not good for contacts.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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