Me too!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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