dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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