i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
