found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
