Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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