the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize