textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
