My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
