half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
