I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
