and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
