He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it glows. i had to have it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
