as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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