i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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