see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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