As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
