Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Randomize
