you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
