How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
