I like my sex mixed with concussions.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
