You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
