Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize