Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
