I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
