Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
