I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
