TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
