He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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