I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
