Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
