Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
