The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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