the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
