Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
