I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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