Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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