The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
