Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
