So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got inside last night via doggy door
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
